Easter Resurrection

And lo, my husband has risen from the tortuous depths of the satanic vortex that was BBFB, store 668. And hath returned to his desire for eternal life - in Bozeman Montana.

Yes. Offered a job in Bozeman. Relieved of job in Florida. Now immersed in painting bathrooms (good thing I've watched so many "design.to.sell" shows), cleaning out the past that's buried in our garage, and packing up for his first drive out there.

And terrifying me with words like "realtor." And propelling me into instant meltdown by packing up the christmas tree holder - because when we open it - it will be - Christmas in - Bozeman. Not Florida.

Equally terrifying is this new experience of throwing the past away. Journals from first marriage dying? buh-bye. Journals from second marriage starting? ciao! Journals from long purple journeys of when I channeled for a living? OUT!!!! I have never felt such clarity, distinction of the end, such finality. I'm done. Don't need my college yearbooks (but amusingly, kept my HS yearbook?) And after 30 years, I threw out my college science books, organic chemistry, a/p, neurology.... kept one notebook. just one.

And there's a confusing bit in there, because some of that stuff in the garage is from my dad's house, it's pieces of my dad. As if I needed more fuel on my meltdown fire.

So we're surfing the big tsunami now, good thing I"ve been practicing my instability-riding moves.

And tomorrow, I disappear for a week to the new confusion at Molly's - what the heck is that all about? When I'm suddenly in the big countdown of "how many days til my husband moves out"? How many mornings left where we will wake up all nestled together, in our Florida dreambed?