Coming Back

There needs to be some commemoration of this moment, the eve of the beginning. After a month off from work, my first break in 26 years, the foundations have been ripped out and the new construction is in process. It is raw and new and incomplete and still forming. I suppose a bit of mirroring is in order to help the edges evolve. Tomorrow three of my "safe" patients will arrive to witness the newly constructed space and at the same time reach for the familiar in me. They want their safe space. It's not the same anymore, out there or in me. Where do we go from here? How do I open the door for the first time at 1pm? How do I hold space for the unknown in me without collapsing under the weight of their needs?

And so, this night before, I pray for the space to hold me. Help me find my way with those who have been waiting.