And then my brainstem seized up and died.

Yesterday I woke up dizzy. Without the benefits of a wild night beforehand. Dizzy supine, sidelying, sitting and standing. Dizzy from my brainstem being sucked up my crown, twisting all my membranes with it. Dizzy from two months of construction, 5 trips out in 6 weeks, overwhelming personal tragedy deep in my heart, a teenager whose boyfriend just moved 1200 miles away to college, and my husband who flew away for a week. For starters.

Not much of a celebration of reclaiming my space in my house. First we start with my space in my own head. What?

Dizzy and abandoned and projected wildly into unknown space..... like that guy in the boat who landed in the casino parking lot. There we were.

And then I dreamed of my dad, and half woke exclaiming "Dad was in my dream!! Remember this!!!" And now that's somewhere far away, just his two hands holding the book of clues and me wondering, shouldn't that be my husband deciphering the book of clues?

Obviously we're not quite untangled yet.