grist in the mill

This week I've been trapped in the millstone, huge grinding wheels of big-business and big-family energies turning and just pulverizing me. Technical failures, broken computers, "Credit Card Compliance Certifications" - let's just say it's a sad day when you know your webhosting phone number AND account number by heart. And the techs remark "wow, your file is thick." At least they're here in America, speaking English, and they don't tend to hang up on you. Unlike my other forays into Dell-world, where not only will the techs hang up on you mid-process if they know they're going to lose points by not fixing your problem, but sometimes they hang up before they even say hello! Bet they don't endorse that problem-solving technique in the YPO rulebook, huh, Michael?

And I'm trying to get ready for class in Cincinnati (with my broken computer), where I will connect with my split-egg other half, who has been writhing in the agony of her personal hell for the past month. Now, if we're two halves of one organism and she's twisted over there trying to make her own noose and jump off the edge at the same time, that is surely dragging me over the edge with her. Never mind this grindstone trying to keep me focused on my own decomposition.

Oh yeah, that would be, transformation. The grindstone thing, is that how we transcend the dis-integration of pain chewing us apart and now resonate to the world in a different way? One bleeding cell at a time?

Tension of the opposites. Some days you can balance it. Some days you're just smeared from edge to edge.