just another disaster

Somehow this summer has been a never-ending series of "weeks from hell." I never knew my life was really like that. Maybe its just that my resources are so spent - emotionally, financially - it's easier to ride the heavy chop when the bills are paid and business is reassuringly percolating.

A week ago, my husband was in the ecstatic throes of job interviews, and I let my guard down. What WOULD it feel like to have him supporting the household? How COULD I start to exhale? And from that pivot place I went to Michigan to work in my colleauges pediatric clinic for a few days.

Ohhhh I had forgotten what it was like to be appreciated, in that healthy, clinical, respectful way. Yes. That was good resonance. And we got some fabulous things done for the kids. Who, by the way, love our pediatric labyrinth. And we brainstormed some great ideas for support materials. This is the clarity of resonance that I want to build upon. This is the level of work that I need to function with.

And then I tried to go to Denver.

Didn't realize I had such hidden issues about going - until the planes started glitching and diverting and abandoning me.... and then mh started glitching and diverting and abandoning me.... and I got off in Colorado Springs and my luggage went to Denver and Delta's monkey staff in India just inflamed the confusion.

Confusion is a pretty powerful attractor, one that we manage to disregard 99% of the time. We just don't live that way. We can step out of it; not engage it. But TRIBAL CONFUSION is a vortex unto itself. And if step-son E is the one generating the confusion, and we're off balance, it's a mess.

And so it was.

Yesterday we made our escape, and this time things kind of worked according to plan. Until we got home.

Why does the fridge door feel so hot? Why is it 75 DEGREES INSIDE THE FRIDGE????

So at 1030pm, after flying cross country all day long, we are in a slap-dash panic, throwing out a fridge-full of food, moving freezer contents to the garage freezer, using all my hurricane ice supplies for the two coolers of salvageable food.

What? no repairman til Wednesday?

Here we are.

Welcome to my nightmare and can things please get better now?